depressed; and random thoughts on music
I've been really tired and a bit depressed lately, I'm being with all my work and I feel overwhelmed with my work and ministry. It must sound really stupid, because I am so lazy and do so little work, but I've always been easily stressed, and now I'm back to biting my nails, having a bit of trouble breathing, and having lots of nightmares where I get killed. Now that I'm living just with my brother, things are even worse. At times I just feel like I want to lock myself into my room and not see him at all. So I stay in my room all day except when I need food, or am going out. I wish I could get on with him, but he is making feel very much like I want to move out and live by myself.
Last week, I was meant to be leading a faculty group for the first time but then I felt really really depressed, and that made me feel like I was really sinful, and that made me feel like I'm not really mature enough to lead a bible study group. So in the end I got Pete Lim to lead for me for the first few weeks. I dont know if I should lead this week or ask him to do it again. I spent a while last night reading through Ephesians 1:1-14, trying to figure out how Paul could have such bad grammar, particularly around verse 7-10, which feels like the longest and most complicated sentence I've ever seen. So I've sort of prepared a study around this massive, but it seems so hard, so many questions I can't answer, and also considering the ESV and the NIV is so different here, what am I suppose to do with the people who use NIVs?
My SOTE (no way I'm calling it TABS) group at church is going quite well, though our first study was too long (went from 7:30 - 10ish). That was partly because we had 2 very new Christians so we need to explain a lot of basic stuff. By the time we worked through all the meanings, functions, benefits of Fearing the Lord, we were all too tired to think about application, how it related to Jesus, and what do we do with passages that say fearing the lord will give us money; Proverbs 22:4. I wish there was at least some attempt to comment on it, instead of just saying, oh, fearing the Lord will give us "riches and honor and life". Oh ok, thats good, next question. But the two new Christians are going really well; really good to see that keen people do exist, by God's grace.
Just a random thought on church music; church music is not about entertainment. If we wanted entertainment, we would go to a concert. Church music leaders should not be drawing attention to themselves and have people say how great their singing is, and how beautifully they sing. When preachers draw attention to themselves, and have people say, he is such a great preacher, he has drawn attention away from God. The faithful preacher will cause people to say that God is great, and not even care who the preacher is. Similarly for music leaders. When they draw attention to themselves and show off their musical ability, you will not help people look at God.
I'm not saying church should be boring, but it is the Word of God that draws people in (or pushes them away), not entertaining music or entertaining sermons. Nor am I saying you cant sing well, its good to sing well, but dont show it off. The music leader is leading people through the song, not trying to sing higher than everyone, or so loudly that no one can hear themselves sing. That was a big problem at NTE and at some churches, where the music is so loud that you might as well not sing at all, because if you cant hear yourself, how can you "[address] one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs"?
No I am not criticising any music team, let alone the music team at CCC, though clearly no music team is perfect and I am stating what I believe to be what the bible is saying. I am, however, willing to say, I am criticising Hillsong, which teaches and practises things contrary to the bible. And I can criticise other churches, shock horror; much of the Anglican Church in England is clearly heretical. Anyone who has ever gone into the cathedrals in London, or stayed for a bit of "worship" will know that. How can anyone say I cant criticise them just because they claim to be Christian. And even if they are Christian, we should be willing to scrutinise each other, to make sure that we are doctrinally correct. If anyone suspects that Sydney Anglicans are wrong on infant baptism, how unloving for them to not bring it up. And if they brought it up, would you expect us to say,
How can you attack us?
Oh that is so unloving.
I must forward your email to our public relations department.
Last week, I was meant to be leading a faculty group for the first time but then I felt really really depressed, and that made me feel like I was really sinful, and that made me feel like I'm not really mature enough to lead a bible study group. So in the end I got Pete Lim to lead for me for the first few weeks. I dont know if I should lead this week or ask him to do it again. I spent a while last night reading through Ephesians 1:1-14, trying to figure out how Paul could have such bad grammar, particularly around verse 7-10, which feels like the longest and most complicated sentence I've ever seen. So I've sort of prepared a study around this massive, but it seems so hard, so many questions I can't answer, and also considering the ESV and the NIV is so different here, what am I suppose to do with the people who use NIVs?
My SOTE (no way I'm calling it TABS) group at church is going quite well, though our first study was too long (went from 7:30 - 10ish). That was partly because we had 2 very new Christians so we need to explain a lot of basic stuff. By the time we worked through all the meanings, functions, benefits of Fearing the Lord, we were all too tired to think about application, how it related to Jesus, and what do we do with passages that say fearing the lord will give us money; Proverbs 22:4. I wish there was at least some attempt to comment on it, instead of just saying, oh, fearing the Lord will give us "riches and honor and life". Oh ok, thats good, next question. But the two new Christians are going really well; really good to see that keen people do exist, by God's grace.
Just a random thought on church music; church music is not about entertainment. If we wanted entertainment, we would go to a concert. Church music leaders should not be drawing attention to themselves and have people say how great their singing is, and how beautifully they sing. When preachers draw attention to themselves, and have people say, he is such a great preacher, he has drawn attention away from God. The faithful preacher will cause people to say that God is great, and not even care who the preacher is. Similarly for music leaders. When they draw attention to themselves and show off their musical ability, you will not help people look at God.
I'm not saying church should be boring, but it is the Word of God that draws people in (or pushes them away), not entertaining music or entertaining sermons. Nor am I saying you cant sing well, its good to sing well, but dont show it off. The music leader is leading people through the song, not trying to sing higher than everyone, or so loudly that no one can hear themselves sing. That was a big problem at NTE and at some churches, where the music is so loud that you might as well not sing at all, because if you cant hear yourself, how can you "[address] one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs"?
No I am not criticising any music team, let alone the music team at CCC, though clearly no music team is perfect and I am stating what I believe to be what the bible is saying. I am, however, willing to say, I am criticising Hillsong, which teaches and practises things contrary to the bible. And I can criticise other churches, shock horror; much of the Anglican Church in England is clearly heretical. Anyone who has ever gone into the cathedrals in London, or stayed for a bit of "worship" will know that. How can anyone say I cant criticise them just because they claim to be Christian. And even if they are Christian, we should be willing to scrutinise each other, to make sure that we are doctrinally correct. If anyone suspects that Sydney Anglicans are wrong on infant baptism, how unloving for them to not bring it up. And if they brought it up, would you expect us to say,
How can you attack us?
Oh that is so unloving.
I must forward your email to our public relations department.
posted by Pingu at 3/20/2005 11:28:00 pm
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