small annoucement

I don't want to be one of those people that breaks up and then nobody knows until 3 months later. So even though I'm not really comfortable talking about my personal life, I thought I should say that.. unfortunately I broke up a week ago. I am not doing so well, but I know they are just slight, momentary afflictions, and even though emotionally I feel like crap now, in the long run its the right thing to do.

My immediate reflections are:

- its so important to be content with singleness. Since I've never been single and Christian at the same time, I never really thought about this, but being content in singleness is really important in not having premature, sub-Christian relationships, and in protecting yourself from relating to people with wrong motivations.

- being single and wanting to be going out really tests your trust in God and his promises. Some of the people who have comforted me make it sound like God has promised a hot, godly, ministry minded, family minded wife for godly guys. He doesnt. But his promises are even better, and even if there is no such wife for me, then I need to be content anyway.

- my relationships with my sisters has suddenly changed. Its weird now. And if its not, maybe it should be. I know that within the next 12 months I will definitely not be ready to go out with anyone else, and also not think about anyone in particular in a romantic way. So hopefully I can continue to have normal non-weird friendships.

- a lot of people have been particularly nice to me in this past week and I cant express how much I appreciate it. Its unbelievably hard to be crying in my room then having to eat dinner with my family pretending I'm completely fine.

- loneliness gives rise to all kinds of sinfulness.
Have mercy on me, a wretched sinner.

Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
And maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have

~

If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

~

And maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely.. lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine

~

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

~

Tell me..
Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me..
Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied
I'll keep you satisfied

~

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind..

~

18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

26Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because^[f] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,^[g] for those who are called according to his purpose. 29For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

iRelate

Got home today from my last MYC ever; I didnt realise how sad I am about it.. I have so many good memories at Merroo, all the things that I have heard and learnt, all the people I have had deep fellowship with.

I had a great week but there were a few negatives:
- extreme lack of sleep. Hours I slept each night: 6, 6, 4, 5, 3..
- the size of Commerce and the amount of fringe Christians we had affected our culture, making it hard to have genuine fellowship at free times and at nights. (I hate spading...)
- didnt have much time for reflection because I had to spend most of the time preparing stuff. When you're leading the seminar, you can't really think about your own application that much!
- really didn't like the music. I almost wish I was the only one who didnt like it but... no.
- oh yeah, and having people ask me when I was getting married. Please don't ever ask me that question =(


But there were definitely lots of things to give thanks for:
- really good fellowship with some of the guys. We shared a lot of stuff about our struggles as men, especially with girls. We spent hours just confessing all the things we've done wrong in the past.
- a lot of deep thinking. Paul's talks were great although I cant believe he didnt talk about FTM at all!!! Its not MYC without FTM! I've heard tapes from at least 10 MYCs, and in all of them, FTM was a massive theme. But his talks on relating to people were practical, and theological in terms of thinking through from Creation to the Gospel to the End. Archie Poulos' elective on emotions was helpful as well.
- very encouraged by first years, especially those from CCC. But ARGH, whats with all the spading?! I feel like such an old man..
- the seminars I led and co-led went well, I thought.

For the semester to come, my final semester, there's so much stuff to do. What can we do organisationally that will help us to feed all 100+ of our active members with the word of God regularly, and best reach out to the lost on campus. What can we do to make sure that even if we lose both our MTS workers next year, and basically all our main leaders, we will still run smoothly. If you are thinking of doing MTS next year, please consider Commerce! Or better yet, give CBS lots of money. I dont think it would actually cost that much to resolve a lot of our problems. Perhaps something in the region of $100,000 would be pretty useful.. Thinking about what MYC has done for me and everyone in Commerce in the past 3 years makes me appreciate this ministry.

I found out after I got home that for some reason my choice of subjects for next semester has been REJECTED (?!?!) by the Faculty or Science. I don't know what I'm going to do now because if I have to do what they want me to do, its going to take up much more time. One of the subjects I would have to take is taken by Jim Franklin, a maths lecture who has published an article called "Is Jensenism Compatible with Christianity?" I wonder if I can make an argument that being in his class would be offensive to my religion...?

Snacks for MYC

so bored..

Usually on Saturdays I eat dinner with my bro but today he left home before I woke up and I assumed he was coming back for dinner... He didnt pick up when I called him, and finally, at almost 6pm, he tells me he's not coming home. And he's taken the car. So I cant even go out with anyone else or go anywhere to eat...

Off to MYC I go...

I cant believe MYC is so soon, theres so many things I havent done! I'm so stressed out this year cos I actually have to do stuff this year, instead of just sitting and listening =(
Hopefully it'll be good. There's just so much I feel like I have to pray for, I don't know where to start.. have to pray for...
- all the newbies at MYC, that they wont feel left out.
- all the upper years, that they'll make everyone feel welcomed
- all the MTSers who'll be leading seminars, electives, faculty planning, that they'll have wisdom, creativity, faithfulness, adequate preparation, the Spirit guiding them...etc
- Grimmo
- admin
- people who have registered will turn up
- God to be glorified.
- God to show his mercy to us.
- God to change us for the better, in a way that lasts...

so many things, I cant pray for them all, hopefully someone reading this will do it for me!


Today I went out to eat Jap food all by myself; so depressing! I was just so tired of eating lunch at home everyday but I have no one to eat with.. then did some shopping for MYC snacks in Chatswood, then went to Koorong to buy "Connecting"... sounds so much like a book teaching you how to pick up girls.

On Tuesday I went to Dan and Teresa's HG in Artarmon and I was so encouraged by the people there in so many ways. I definitely have to try and go there more often even after uni starts. I really miss having a weekly bible study group like that.

I've chosen all my subjects for next semester. My last chance to dedicate myself to serious academic study. I really want to show myself that I can do it, otherwise I don't think I could survive at Bible College. The good news is, I got all my results from this semester and I passed everything again, quite comfortably. My highest grades since 1st year; even got a D in Intro to European Philosophy - despite 0/10 in tut participation/attendence.

Katharine Jefferts Schori

Katharine Jefferts Schori, the first woman elected primate in the Anglican Communion, in an interview with TIME magazine:

What will be your focus as head of the U.S. church? Our focus needs to be on feeding people who go to bed hungry, on providing primary education to girls and boys, on healing people with AIDS, on addressing tuberculosis and malaria, on sustainable development. That ought to be the primary focus.

Is belief in Jesus the only way to get to heaven? We who practice the Christian tradition understand him as our vehicle to the divine. But for us to assume that God could not act in other ways is, I think, to put God in an awfully small box.

What is your prayer for the church today? That we remember the centrality of our mission is to love each other. That means caring for our neighbors. And it does not mean bickering about fine points of doctrine.

Hillsong Conference

Just realised that the Hillsong Conference has started after reading an smh.com.au article about Rick Warren telling people that they should make lots of money in order to give it away.

"It's not about you," he told a Sydney crowd last night. "The purpose for your life is far greater than your personal happiness, your personal fulfilment. It's not about passions, possessions, positions or power."

"I don't think it is a sin to be rich, it's a sin to die rich,"

I think that's great and we should probably pray for them over at the SuperDome. For all the heresies, at least they have an evangelical speaking this year, and hopefully what Rick is saying will help the people there understand more about God and what being a Christian is about.

Resolutions

But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king's food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself. (Daniel 1:8)

To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power. (2 Thess 1:11)

This is going to be my first holidays I've spent in Sydney since I became a Christian, and the first time in a long time that I've felt like I don't have anything to do. So just as Daniel resolved to be godly, and as God worked in the Thessalonians to fulfil their resolve for good, I am resolving to use these 2 weeks Christianly and productively, praying for God to work in me. So, for these 2 weeks, I resolve to -

• Read the Bible and Pray everyday
• Write my mini talk for SOTE by Friday
• Prepare my Sunday School lesson properly
• Prepare for my MYC Seminars
• Finish reading Chapman's Love Languages
• Read Romans and Romans PTC notes
• Study for my finance and maths subjects for next semester
• Spend time with Christians - just hanging out rather than "meeting up"
• Stop wasting time watching TV and chatting to people on MSN
• Try to sleep around 1am each night
  

and if I am lucky,

• Read Peterson's "Possessed by God"
• Write a series of Bible Studies for my Faculty Group next semester - either a series on Sanctification, or Mark, or Romans, or Acts. I'm pretty undecided at the moment.