small annoucement

I don't want to be one of those people that breaks up and then nobody knows until 3 months later. So even though I'm not really comfortable talking about my personal life, I thought I should say that.. unfortunately I broke up a week ago. I am not doing so well, but I know they are just slight, momentary afflictions, and even though emotionally I feel like crap now, in the long run its the right thing to do.

My immediate reflections are:

- its so important to be content with singleness. Since I've never been single and Christian at the same time, I never really thought about this, but being content in singleness is really important in not having premature, sub-Christian relationships, and in protecting yourself from relating to people with wrong motivations.

- being single and wanting to be going out really tests your trust in God and his promises. Some of the people who have comforted me make it sound like God has promised a hot, godly, ministry minded, family minded wife for godly guys. He doesnt. But his promises are even better, and even if there is no such wife for me, then I need to be content anyway.

- my relationships with my sisters has suddenly changed. Its weird now. And if its not, maybe it should be. I know that within the next 12 months I will definitely not be ready to go out with anyone else, and also not think about anyone in particular in a romantic way. So hopefully I can continue to have normal non-weird friendships.

- a lot of people have been particularly nice to me in this past week and I cant express how much I appreciate it. Its unbelievably hard to be crying in my room then having to eat dinner with my family pretending I'm completely fine.

- loneliness gives rise to all kinds of sinfulness.
Have mercy on me, a wretched sinner.