I am running/ a hundred miles an hour

I'm leaving tmr morning for Beijing. I'm really sad because I feel like I've just gotten into a good routine here with friends/people and with my quiet times and stuff like that. Just 2 weeks ago I was really sad that I'd be leaving people who are important to me in Sydney, now I'm really sad about leaving behind important people in HK. Maybe in 5 weeks I'm going to be depessed about people in Beijing, but I dont know..

I'm pretty much all packed, I've got like 5 kilos of cables for laptop, camera, iPod, PSP, ext HDD... I think I've travelled too much in my life, and I've never really felt at home. I was reading Inside Out by Crabb the other day, and it said:

Ever since God expelled Adam and Eve from the garden, we have lived in an unnatural environment, a world in which we were no designed to live. We were built to enjoy a garden without weeds, relationships without friction, fellowship without distance. But something is wrong, and we know it, both within our world and within ourselves. Deep inside we sense we're out of the nest, always ending the day in a motel room, never at home. When we're honest, we see we handle our discomfort by keeping our distance from people, responding more to our fears than to another's desire for love.

When I read that, I thought, I feel like I've been in a motel room everynight my entire life. And even though to some extent in this life, we'll always be away from our true home, we are at the same time in constant connection with God; his Spirit dwells in us, and we experience a taste of heaven when we have fellowship with one another. Tomorrow night I am going to be in a dorm room, completely disconnected to my Christian brothers and sisters, but I need to remember that I will still be in constant connection with God.

A song that's really meant a lot to me lately is Does Anybody Hear Her by Casting Crowns. I think anyone who's ever struggled seriously with sin will empathise with the song, as well as anyone who has genuinely cared for a brother or a sister. Parts of the video makes me want to cry.



She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

He is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

----

I am running
A hundred miles an hour...